If you’ve already got your greasy pizza fingers all over the brand-new Intervision DVD, you’ve probably made your way through the ‘audio viewing party with The Cinefamily‘ – and if you haven’t, you’re seriously missing out on a hilariously entertaining experience featuring the residual effects of THINGS on real seasoned cinephiles – where one first-timer present on the track remarks how he had only known of THINGS from it’s ringtone. Ringtone? Yes, it’s true. For a period of time, we THINGS-ites through various email chains were circulating homemade ‘THINGTONES’ sourced from star Barry J. Gillis’ basement ADR tapes which feature various homicidal rantings looped by severe dime store delay pedal action. Sadly, these recordings remained on the cutting room floor and we never used in the final film. But, now they are forever preserved for a new era of THINGS-ites and all seven are available here for free! Pick it up, maybe Barry J. Gillis is calling…

DOWNLOAD THINGTONES HERE

For iPhoners, all you need to do is drag the extracted files into iTunes and sync your phone. Then the ringtones will be selectable in your ‘sound’ settings folder on your phone.

“THE EVIL DEAD if it were re-imagined by David Cronenberg but directed by Herschel Gordon Lewis. A total acid trip of mullets, porn ‘staches, beer-swilling, gore, and nonsense, THINGS is spectacularly hallucinogenic.”-Oh The Horror

“Describing the experience of watching THINGS with mere words would be like constructing the scale model of the universe with Lincoln Logs.”-CraveOnline

“What unfurled over the next 84 minutes transcended anything I could have ever told myself I was ready for.”-Mishka NYC

“It’ll pull out your brain, fling it against the wall, and have you pleading for mercy by the half-hour mark. Yep, it’s that kind of movie.” -Mondo Digital

“Oddly compelling viewing!”-DVD Drive-In

“It’s a product of so many forces foreign to the majority of people on Earth (and I’m talking well beyond the Canadian connection) that all the reviews in the world are not going to give you an idea of whether you or not you’ll connect with the film.” -Gordon And The Whale

Exclusive clip from THINGS featured on the Dangerous Minds Blog

“THINGS is the surreal saga of two friends who visit a remote cabin, only to discover a womb of monstrous horror that demands graphic dismemberment,” according to Intervision’s packaging, “it’s an inexplicable orgy of eye ripping, beer guzzling, boob baring, skull drilling, sandwich making, chain sawing, bad acting and post-sync dubbing.” Mondo Video’s THINGS includes the original poster art, the 1989 VHS releases’ box copy and will be available for purchase only at MondoTees.com on Wednesday, July 13, 2011. The Intervision DVD streets on July 12th (today) and is available for order for Amazon.com.

“THINGS is the quintessential Canadian ‘homemade’ horror film,” says Intervision marketing director Evan Husney, “beneath it’s oozing outsider façade, lies a barrage of low-budget freakiness and transcendent surrealism earning its place in the new Intervision/Mondo Video cult cannon.” Mondo creative director says, “Mondo Video strives to only release things that YOU NEED TO SEE and this low budget Canadian monster movie ranks at the top of that list!”

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The all “too-soon” biopic of the ’90s most infamous serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer – produced two years before Dahmer was beaten to death in prison – is helmed by two fierce indie filmmakers David R. Bowen and Carl Crew, who set out to make a film examining the inner psyche of one of America’s most brutal, tortured souls. The result is a obsessive, grim portrait which is not only a sincere and hardly exploitive vision, but a triumph of micro-budget indie filmmaking as well. In light of the film’s Intervision DVD release on July 12th, David R. (Rick) Bowen joins us after the jump to discuss the controversy surrounding the film’s release, which outraged the media, the victim’s families and the public.

Rick Bowen: Nearly 20 years ago the news sources of the world could not get enough of Jeffrey Dahmer, Milwaukee’s famed cannibal serial killer. Recently, the Casey Anthony case in Florida also has hit the news and cable networks nearly as hard as in the early 90’s with similar publicity. Now that Intervision Picture Corp. is releasing a updated version of THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER I am reminded of the madness that Carl Crew, who portrayed Dahmer and wrote the screen play, and I were faced with when “Daily Variety” announced the Dahmer movie was finished and seeking a distributor in the Summer of 1993. CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, E Network, all in Los Angeles, along with Maury Povich in New York and WISN, Milwaukee’s ABC TV station were all scrambling to have us make the 6:00 News and their next shows. The Milwaukee station immediately flew us there for the morning show, Milwaukee’s Talking, and the next day we were off to New York to appear on the Maury Povich show. On both Milwaukee’s Talking and The Maury Povich Show, Carl and I were pitted against various family members of Dahmer’s respective victims. Though we held our ground, understandably the family members did not like the fact that the demises of their loved ones were going to be exploited in film. The fact that we did not have to pay them for the story just caused more angst. I suppose that I can understand their concern, but the Jeffery Dahmer story was the biggest news story to hit the air waves and press in decades. The very idea that someone was not going to make this movie was foreign to our minds.

We thought it very interesting that our movie was the first release to be announced on a subject that captivated the world for weeks and months. We were sure that there would be several feature films in the works and with that assumption we filmed under cover not announcing our project until it was finished, wanting to be the first to the marketplace. Imagine after all that to find out that we were the only 35mm project on the subject and that the big studios were totally afraid to approach a deal with such a subject as a cannibal serial killer story. Go figure… in today’s market all the major and minor studios, as well as, the cable networks would most likely be competing to get such a release to market as quickly as possible. I think that will be the case with the Casey Anthony story, as distasteful as that subject may be to some.

Now, thanks to the crew at Intervision, THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER will get a new release and new life. I am glad that a quality company like Intervision/Severin Films has redone the film and added commentary track not found in the original video release.

Kevin Thomas, movie reviewer of the Los Angeles Times, most favorably compared the film originally released in 1993 with the studio version done in 2000 and produced with a much greater budget than the original Dahmer film. Thomas said in his review of the newer film, “DAHMER Falls Short of the Horrible Truth. Ironically, for all its painstaking qualities, it is not as successful in illuminating that troubled individual as the low-low-budget, direct –to-video THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER.”

Now fans of this genre will get a fresh look at the only Dahmer film that ever really told it like it was and really got into the mind of the most notorious serial killer of all times. Kudos to Intervision for taking on the project and giving it new life.

-David R (Rick) Bowen (Director and Producer, “Jeffrey Dahmer, The Secret Life”)

“AN ANTI-HUMAN MASTERPIECE…
Satanism. Disembowelment. Sexual assault. A particularly notorious segment appears to have actually been shot in Hell. There’s zero doubt that Olaf Ittenbach was destined to either make this film or rape wolves.”-Zack Carlson, editor/author of DESTROY ALL MOVIES!!!

“When the Germans make a horror movie,” says Mr. Beaks of Ain’t It CoolNews, “THEY MAKE A F%*#ING HORROR MOVIE!” In 1992, writer/director/special effects master Olaf Ittenbach changed the face of video horror, force-fed its ripped-out eyeballs to screaming audiences, then used a drill, machete and shotgun on its still-twitching torso: Ittenbach himself stars as a degenerate junkie who babysits his young sister with two bedtime stories of the damned. First, an escaped serial killer turns date night into a graphic family massacre. Then a country priest on a rape and murder spree leads to a disturbingly explicit descent into Hell. It became the VHS that shocked America. It has been banned in its Motherland for nearly 20 years. And it remains perhaps the most violent and depraved shot-on-video saga in history. This is THE BURNING MOON.

See this trailer on the upcoming THINGS release, out of DVD on July 12th. THE BURNING MOON is coming this fall from Intervision Picture Corp.  In the meantime, read this edition of VICE Magazine’s movie club which featured THE BURNING MOON. Aaaaaaahhhh!!!

Previous entries in the “On The Road To THINGS” blog series includes Barry J. Gillis and Andrew Jordan’s investor reel for EVIL ISLAND and Gillis’ vintage Canadian TV appearances promoting THINGS. Also, the THINGS DVD is now available for pre-order on Amazon – get psyched!

The Metal Inquisition is a weekly radio show devoted to only the trüest of metal and is spearheaded by NWOBHM worshippers Ryan & Tooth of Brooklyn’s best metal band going today: Natur. For a sneak peak of what’s in-store for this Saturday night, below is a video trailer for Evan’s last appearance on The Metal Inquisition for the “Epic Sweaty Basement Hell” radio show.

SLEDGEHAMMER will be making its triumphant return to LA’s greatest movie theater, The Cinefamily on July 1st as part the 2nd annual 4-day “Everything Is Festival” showcase. Hosted by our friend’s at Everything Is Terrible, this will mark a triumphant return for the shot-on-video favorite to Cinefamily since its grossly under-attended world premiere screening held back in 2008. This past event is lovingly chronicled by Cinefamily programmers Hadrian Belove and Tom Fitzgerald on our DVD release with their retelling of the raging “pizza on the turntable” party the night before leading up to SLEDGEHAMMER’s post-hangover cranial big screen assault. Although that seemed rather befitting, July 1st’s screening promises a more ideal situash: a packed house of devoted mondo-obscuro loving mongers and a g-damn Q&A with SLEDGEHAMMER/DEADLY PREY star mother fucking Ted Prior!

Also screening is the ferocious mixtape of brutal gore and derranged hilarity by Intervision’s own Evan Husney. See a trailer for BRAIN BLUDGEON below. The date and time for the screening is still TBA, we will post with updates.

Sewn together from hundreds of forgotten horror films, BRAIN BLUDGEON is a transcendental fusion of trash exposing the willing to everything curious, bizarre, hilarious and awful about no-budget genre films. Hot penny torture, exploding 3D skulls, brutal “de-fetusing,” raping zombies, and much more collide in this blissfully IQ-withering amalgamation of exploitation hell.

Check out the poster for “Everything Is Festival 2011″ below, and tickets and festival passes can be purchased via Cinefamily’s brand-new website.

On the way to our morning coffee spot, we found ourselves trapped in the below man’s drunken daybreak inertia totally slack-jacked at the hamburger pinched firmly in his fingers. Struggling to keep up with his New York hustle block after block, we had completely ignored our cafe destination. NOT ONE bite was taken from his burger the whole time! Where was he going? What is he going to do with that burger? An abrupt car horn snapped us out of our pinched meat trance and we turned back to head for the cafe which was over a mile away. His determined, not-eating stride continued onward. We assume he forgot he had a burger in his hands, but we are sure that he was happy when he remembered it was there.

Handburger Man Gallery:

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Oh, and by the way, THINGS is now available for pre-order on Amazon!! The listing of special features found in the description is incomplete, more(!) will be announced in the coming days. That is all for now and I hope you forgive our willingness to publish this.

Immediately, a raucous voice-over kicks in with that familiar jarring THINGS-atitude which guides the viewer through what EVIL ISLAND’s story might be like given the desired $1,000,000 budget. EVIL ISLAND stars Barry J. Gillis as Barry J. Gillis, an Alcatraz escapee who left the woman of his dreams behind (?) – and now he’s back (??). Assuming then that Barry must fight off some evil force to escape…EVIL ISLAND! Some Casio high-hats now occupy the shrill high-end and then we burst into some wicked bedroom analog delay pedal action – something we’ll examine more thoroughly in the weeks to come. And this is how it ends… For better or worse, EVIL ISLAND was never made into a feature and following the completion of this reel, Gillis began work on his subsequent film WICKED WORLD, which wasn’t completed until 2009. WICKED WORLD is available on Amazon Instant Video for those who are curious.

This reel and more can be found on the upcoming July 12th release of THINGS. With this “On The Road To THINGS” series we hope to expose some of the extras which will be included on the disc and pay tribute to the weird and wonderful world of Jordan/Gillis.